Chesham Morning.

With apologies to Joni Mitchell…

Woke up, it was a Chesham morning,
and the first thing that I heard,
was that noisy prick on a moped,
and I mouthed a few choice words,
and he came tearing up the road,
at well over 30 miles an hour.

Won’t you go away,
you’ve ruined my day,
but I’ll get you when the night comes.

Woke up, it was a Chesham morning,
and the first thing that I saw,
was the pavement strewn with litter,
and a dog turd there to boot,
and some young bloke in a speeding car,
he thinks he’s Lewis Hamilton.

Oh, won’t you stay,
another Chesham day,
there’s that bloody car again…

Now the curtain opens on a portrait of today,
and the streets are paved with passers-by,
and pigeons shit,
and papers fly,
but nothing seems to blow away.

Woke up, it was a Chesham morning,
and the first thing that I knew,
another Turkish barber shop has opened up,
and another High Street shop closed down,
but the coffee shops and charity shops remain,
and one got broken into.

Oh, won’t you stay,
for this Chesham day,
and we’ll talk of broken fences.

When the night-time closes in on another Chesham day,
I will bring you incensed drivers by night,
high-beam headlight,
maybe a fight.
if only you will stay.
Pretty baby, won’t you,
wake up, it’s a Chesham morning

Yes, there was a noisy oik on a moped, yes there are young wannabe racing drivers with incredibly short penises driving cars that sound terrible way above the speed limit and yes, ofttimes the pavements are strewn with litter.

Chesham, like most towns, has its problems but it also has a rather nice side.